The Poopie Chronicles - Part 1

Oh, where to start, where to start? I have so many stories to share...I guess I'll start with Part 1 of 'The Poopie Chronicles'. The boy, let's call him Scooby Doo, was potty training, he was probably about two and a half.

He and I are home by ourselves on a Saturday morning. It's early, I haven't showered, so I set Scoob up with a movie and an assortment of blocks and crayons and I hurry off to take a quick shower.

Apparently, I wasn't quick enough.

As soon as I'm done, wrapped in a towel, I open my bedroom door and what do I find?

Scooby dancing in the kitchen. In just a t-shirt. Sans diaper.

I'm all, "Hey man, where's your pants??"

He's all, "It's yucky!"

Ok, yucky? I take a deep breath and ask him to show me.

I follow him to the hallway. I find two sizable turds on the FLOOR.

OH NO HE DIDN'T!

Yes, yes he really did.

But that was only the start. Then he showed he his 'art'.

I walked in to the kids' bathroom and what do I see?

He 'painted' the toilet lid, the cabinets, the sink and the floor....

With poop.

Yes, poop.

Crap, really? Really, Scoob? This was fun for you? You've got to be shitting me.

I was so pissed off. I didn't know what to do. I needed to think of something that would discourage Scooby from doing this again, obviously.

After a good talking to, I decided he could clean it up, because I sure didn't want to. And we'd follow that by some time out.

I sprayed the 409 and handed him a paper towel.

He looked at me like I was crazy.

I took his little hand in mine and showed him how to clean up his mess, but eventually I ended up cleaning up the rest while he sat in a corner.

Apparently I didn't get through, because coming up next will be Part 2 of The Poopie Chronicles.